2. For the first time in at least 16 years, I did not plant pansies this fall. In North Carolina it wouldn’t be too late, perhaps. Well, maybe it is. But I don’t live in North Carolina anymore, so it doesn’t really matter. It’s too late here. The rains and the gray have begun; the warmth is done. Unlike North Carolina, once it’s gone here, it’s gone for the duration. There isn’t enough warmth to give pansies a chance to establish themselves before winter. And I don’t really care that I didn’t plant them. And maybe that is the real issue.
[For what it's worth, the folk lore about the width of the brown band on the wooly bear caterpillar, when you mix science with lore, is that if it says anything at all about the severity of winter, which it doesn't, it is more about the one past than the one coming.]
And three notes about the mixture of spiraling into new life and regret for the one I left behind:
2. I need to find a new coffee shop, and it pisses me off. I miss my Cafe Carolina. The guy who sleeps in a tent and lives the rest of the time at Santa Lucia, it seems, and who talks non-stop to people at other tables, picked me as his target today. Maybe because I was the only one in there. Just as I was about to either leave or be more forthright than simply ignoring him－which wasn’t working－someone else came in and sat down with me, at my table. I know I should be more open to the possibilities that come from unexpected encounters, but I really wasn’t in the mood. And I was trying to get started on this post; and the thought train screeched to a dead stop, just as the did the one on the tracks beyond the window. The problem is, the only other coffee shop in town is Starbucks, which is not an option.
New life and new opportunities and missing the old one spiral together, passing each other as they burst out and close in.
And that is what has been swirling in my head as I try to come up with a topic for this post. At the bottom of it all, is the sure knowledge that my check engine light is on. And I really don’t know, yet, where to take it for repairs.